Saturday, April 4, 2009

Another note

In my previous post I mentioned how upset I am at Tucker's ADHD diagnosis and how I try to remind myself that the small bumps I encounter on this road of life, are nothing compared to the sink holes that others find themselves in from time to time. I have learned through life experiences that if you don't appreciate every single thing that you have been blessed with, or start taking credit for what you have, or complain about what you don't have, God will give you a good kick in the pants. He is merciful, and thankfully, He sent his son to die for our sins. However, Jesus' sacrifice does not keep God from giving us gentle reminders on a daily basis that He is in control. He is our Father after all, and He is the one who wrote the words, spare the rod, spoil the child.
On the flip side, He takes care of us even when we don't ask him to or feel as though we don't need His help. I had a difficult childhood in some ways, and when I went to college and after graduation, I rebelled against God and what I knew to be the right path. Now that I am older, and look back, I can see where God was with me in some of my darkest moments. He held the steering wheel for me on the nights I drove back and forth from Gadsden to Birmingham when I couldn't see the road through my tears because my mother was dying in the hospital. (Praise God she didn't). He kept me from killing myself with alcohol on the nights that I went out with my friends and downed a bottle of tequila plus who knows how many more beers. He kept the boys that I thought that I loved out of my life so that I would come back to Him through the godly man that He sent to marry me. I especially felt his hands on me when Connor was in the NICU for 14 days. Through Connor's experience, I changed my attitude toward life and what it really meant to be a disciple for Christ. I still slip up from time to time, well, a lot of the time, but for the most part I try to do as Jesus would do, when I am dealing with people or situations. I am not taking credit for any of my actions, I just write that to say, that God works in every facet of our lives especially when we feel that he is further away from our hearts than he has ever been before. We are His children, and no matter how hard we push him away, he never leaves us, even when we blame him for what has gone wrong in our lives.

I don't know why I was led to write this tonight, but maybe there is someone who is reading this post who feels separated or abandoned by God right now, and this will help them. The poem Footprints has been in my mind a lot lately and I will post it here:

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."
Mary Stevenson

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