Saturday, November 1, 2008

The trials and tribulations of Parenting




















Brad and Tucker are in Mississippi for the State game, and I have had some time on my hands as you can see from my three posts today. Connor and I have spent the afternoon and the night together and it has been precious. He is so funny and unbelievably athletic. It is amazing to see his ability at such a young age. I know you are probably thinking, "Every mom thinks that their kid is the best at sports." You are right. But with Connor, I am not the only one who thinks that he has a lot of athleticism.

I am a guy's girl. I have always been more comfortable around guys than girls. I was a tomboy growing up, I like hard rock and violent movies, I drive fast (or I did before kids), and used to could drink any guy under a table (in the old days). As I have grown older and look at my closest friends, I realize that I surround myself with strong women. My girlfriends are all guys girls too. My friend Alex, who is a true southern bell, can have a conversation with any guy about sports and life in general without missing a beat. When I get together with my best friends from college, you would be astonished at the way we communicate, cursing, and sarcastic remarks fly around us like moths to a light bulb. We have always called each other by our last names. To this day, they still call me Tucker, which is confusing now that my son is named Tucker. So when God blessed me with my first son, Tucker, I was so thankful because God knew I couldn't handle a girl.

When we were waiting to find out what sex Connor was going to be, I was actually worried about having another boy because of competition between the two. Brad is a very good athlete. The football field at his high school still has his name on a sign, bearing a record that no one has beaten in eleven years. He played college basketball, and had opportunities to play college football. When I was pregnant with Tucker, Brad taught me how to throw a spiral football in our front yard. I can throw a good one now, and am proud of myself. From the day that Tucker was born, all he could talk about was how he wanted him to play football and basketball. Thankfully, Tucker plays both sports, including soccer and he is good at all three. Brad has always said that Tucker did not have a lot of athletic ability, but that with practice he would be good. I always disagreed with him because I thought there was no way to tell if a three year old was athletic or not. I accused him of being too hard toward Tucker's abilities. He never let Tucker know that he felt that way of course.
Tucker inherited Brad's speed, and my endurance. He can run for miles at a pretty fast pace, and not get tired. When Tucker was 4, he went on a two mile run with me and never asked to rest. The kid is an amazing runner, if he could run all day long, he would be happy. This year, Brad finally admitted that Tucker does have athletic ability, it has just taken a little bit more time to show itself. In flag football Tucker can catch up to a kid that might be 30 yards in front of him in seconds to grab the kid's flag. When he catches the football, he can find holes in the defense and juke the players around him to make touchdowns that other kids couldn't make. In soccer he is the fastest kid on the field. A boy from the opposing team could be dribbling the ball down the field and Tucker would be in the back field behind the other players. All of the sudden, it was like he lit a booster under his bottom, and took off. He will almost always catch the other player and get the ball away or keep him from scoring a goal. The hard part is that Tucker has always been more interested in role playing and just playing in general than practicing sports, or throwing a ball around. His teachers always talk about his imagination and his vocabulary. He is also proving to be very good at math and patterns, which is wonderful news. However, the lack of interest in practicing sports has been a frustration for Brad.

Connor picked up a ball and threw it when he was 4 months old and hasn't put it down since. Tonight, I spent at least an hour, throwing his little football back and forth with him. We throw the ball together on a daily basis for hours on end. Connor will pick up a round ball, and stand like he is on a pitcher's mound at a baseball game. Then he will turn to the side, just like a pitcher does, wind the ball backward and throw it overhanded, hard. He broke my little toe with a sippy cup because he threw it on my foot. No joke. We have no idea where he saw a pitcher wind a ball, but he must have been watching a baseball game to get the idea. When he pitches the ball, it goes right to you, with a spin. This is no ordinary 17 month old throwing a ball haphazardly around the room.

When Connor throws the football, he actually takes a stance, like you see Peyton or Brett do before they throw the ball. Then, he takes the ball and turns it in his hands, making sure to line up the white marks on the ball. leans back and throws a spiral across the room. It is amazing. Brad taped the Connor throwing the baseball one night, and we have got to get the football toss on camera too. Tonight, as I watched him throw the football to me with perfect accuracy I was amazed and scared at the same time. Connor is going to be a phenomenal quarterback or pitcher one day, and I don't think I am being biased. My fear is that if Tucker is not as good as his younger brother it will devastate him. This is the competition factor that I worried about when you have two boys. I look at the Manning family and wonder what the older brother must feel like. He was good, but not as good as his younger brothers. Now they are both gazillionaires and he sits in the box with his parents watching them, he is so obscure that I don't even know his name. All that to say, I will take the competition of two brothers over an emotional 13 year old wreck of a girl anyday.

I just hope that Tucker will have enough confidence in his abilities not to compare himself to Connor. I know that Tucker is smart, and hopefully his brain will take him further than Connor's athletics. I feel torn between the two of them already, and neither of them are aware of the rivalry to come. On one hand I want to be so proud of Connor, because he has a gift. On the other hand, I want to protect Tucker from seeing how good Connor actually is. I try not to recognize the fact that Connor is so good. I know this is premature, but I can see it happening in the future and am trying my hardest to prepare myself for the battles to come. Being a parent is the hardest, most challenging thing in the world, however it is the best blessing you can ever receive from God. Hopefully, with God's help, I will cross this bridge easily when the time comes. For now, I am thankful that I have two beautiful, healthy, sweet, boys. Sorry for the long post, that you probably could care less about. It made me feel better to write it and clear my head. Now, I am off to have a few sips of my red wine and read more about 14th century England.

No comments: